Love to my husband...XOXO

I get ranty, snarky and quirky, but despite this somwhat cuss ridden exterior lies a heartbeat that quickens everytime my husband steps into the room. I met this tall dark hunk of a man five years ago. As angry as he makes me, my love overcomes those feelings. I know he has a challenging job, that requires him to work more than a 40 hour work week. He is a provider for my family. I lost my job when I was three months pregnant, went on a few interviews after, and despite preganancy discrimination being illegal, I did not get hired anywhere. Our son came along and we knew that with daycare expenses returning to work would be difficult. I still looked. We had unemployment to get us through, but eventually that ran out.


Then, I was pregnant again, then lost that baby to Alobar Holoprosencephaly (HPE). With our dreams of a second child for our family dashed, I am once again looking for employment. If I get pregnant again soon, we are faced with the same dilemma of daycare costs we had when our first son was born. Now my husband bears the sole responsibility of financially providing for us, he is feeling a lot of pressure and stress in trying to support the family. I hate that, because I have a fiercly strong independent streak. I feel guilty, I want to contribute financially.  I at least would feel better having a job that helped pay loans that paid for the Bachelor of Science degree I am not using anymore!


Despite the financial strain, I love him madly - flaws and all...