Okay, so my husband and I are like many people in this day and age - BROKE. We are broker than we should be given my husband's income - but bills, child support, travel expenses, legal expenses, leave us with precious scraps at the end of each payperiod. It stresses me constantly, our financial situation has been making my eye twitch all day.
Today we went down to my mom's house for lunch with family. We got there early and put our son down for a nap and snuck out to run a few errands. On the way back to my mom's house, we drove by TJ Maxx. We decided to stop. Check out clearance racks, my husband needs a small travel bag for his upcoming trip to visit his daughter. The truth is, we just felt like window shopping and pretending we actually have money to splurge on something.
Inside the store, we split up, my husband likes to look at home goods, I like to look at clothes, books for my little man, etc. I was looking at toddler clothes, when I saw the most adorable "set" of girl newborn gear. I lost it...started crying, soft at first then full blown sobbing. Customers curiously threw me side glances, I quickly tried to bury myself in the childrens book section. My husband found me standing there, holding two 'Thomas the Train' books, crying. He pulled me aside, took me to a less busy section to calm me down. After a few loving words, he directed me to the bathroom. He was waiting for me when I emerged ten minutes later, puffy and wearing sunglasses.
As embarrassing as it was to "lose it" in the middle of a store. it could not be helped. I am screaming inside, feeling anxious all of the time. Wondering if I keep holding it together.
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