Building Blocks

My son like to stack up his blocks, just to smack them down again. I love watching him do this:

It is a reminder to myself - I need to learn to build myself back up again after getting knocked down. Lately, I have had a very difficult time doing that. I am sad, I smile and pretend it is all right, because, I do not want to let my child down. I do not want to let my husband down. People do not like to be around people who are sad. When I lost my Dad, I was the lowest, I had felt in a long time. Almost everyone had abandoned me, they didn't know what to say. I did not know what to say, I just knew I was so sad. I saw a picture of myself recently at a City Council meeting a few weeks after my Dad passed. It was surreal, the news was replaying a clip of the meeting, I was right next to the person speaking, helping them with their presentation. I was at work, looking so grief-stricken, that I wanted to step back into time and hug myself. At that time, no one really knew what to do, all I wanted was a hug.

So if you know someone who has suffered a loss recently, take the time to talk to them, hug them and say your sorry. It really does make a difference. Just listen, they do not need you to solve a problem that cannot be solved.

Today would be my father's birthday. Today, I would be 18 weeks pregnant. Today, all the "would bes" are making me feel really sad.